My heart pains 💔💔 to see videos of China, families separated from each other, superhighways completely deserted, streets empty and factories closed. Beautiful Italy under lockdown, Schools closed, Cathedrals closed, Universities closed, Stores closed, Tourists trapped, Locals without food or toilet paper. Cruise ships stranded unable to dock because there is disease aboard the ship. Dreams dashed to nightmares.
Thoughts of our brothers and sisters around the world are with millions, every moment as we hear hour-by-hour updates of devastations and losses.
🙋♀️YOU MIGHT CALL ME CRAZY… but I can’t stop believing that even with all this suffering, there is still something MAGNIFICENT in the world happening right now!
Isn’t it in the very threat of loss, that we have a chance to consider our most sacred priorities? Our highest missions, our most important relationships? Our deepest desires? Our loftiest goals?
Shared adversity somehow has this incredible way of entwining our lives with those we walk this path with, binding us irreversibly together.
I look at the news, I scroll my social media accounts and all I see everywhere is strangers praying together, sharing together, giving to each other, crying together, thinking about each other, sending aid to each other. Religions, languages, beliefs, and borders are no barriers for the 💗love💗 that is being poured out upon the affected countries of the 🌏 earth right now.
😷 A physical, global, disaster can be blessing for so many of us! For those who are not prepared physically, it can remind us that it is wise to have a small storage of food, water, and money for a situation such as this one.
👣 For those who are prepared physically, it can be an opportunity to give, to be generous to and serve. It can provide a chance to withhold judgement of people that aren’t prepared, and to exercise compassion for those that can’t afford to be prepared.
👴👵🏽 This can be our chance to review spiritual and emotional well being. And focus on being ready should they or someone they love die tomorrow.
👩⚕️This gives our governments and communities and hospitals a chance to get ready for times ahead that could bring greater sickness.
👩👧👦This gives families time to stay home with each other and opportunities reach out to those around us.
🙏This gives us all a chance to mourn together, to pray for each other, to celebrate together.
🌄Today I can see a lot of silver linings in this storm, and although there is uncertainty and despair in the future, I am in awe of the beauty all around me right now.
Being a mom can be overwhelming at best! I have 7 adorable children who I have spent some days loving and some moments hating!
Frustrated this huge swing of emotions, sometimes, several times a day, I have spent the last several years learning techniques that have help me get a lot more control in my own mind & heart.
Here are my BEST tips at learning to love being a mom & wife everyday:
TAKE A VITAMIN SUPPLEMENT that REALLY works everyday ( I use Q-96- it’s super high in vitamin B which fights depression or SAMe which you can find at most health food stores, or Doterra Vitamins). It is my belief that EVERY mom need extra mental support! And by taking a vitamin that actually works for you, it gives you the extra emotional support that you need to stay calm when you really feel like freaking out!
MAKE DECLARATIONS for yourself that you repeat to yourself out-loud EVERY DAY. (eg. I am awesome, These kids are going to grow up beautiful and sweet, I am beautiful, I am the best mom in the world for these kids)
There is just TONS of science behind the power of positive thinking. I love these books especially: As a Man Thinketh Acres of Diamonds Drawing on the Powers of Heaven
TAKE SOME TIME OUT FOR YOURSELF! (any smart husband will support this!) go out with some girls that you can talk to.
Let’s face it, it’s hard being at home and only talking to babies all day, while covered in poop and laundry and dishes!
I have a couple sisters and couple close friends that I can call anytime and have a girl hangout session with in the evening. We all bring chocolate and then we just laugh and talk and cry and feel so much better afterwards.
My husband is always happy when I come home from my girls nights out because I got to dump and it wasn’t on him! Plus it’s so nice hearing that other people also struggle with their marriages and children and money and health 🙂
4. DATE NIGHTS
HAVE A DATE NIGHT EVERY WEEK with your husband. Being connected to him is going to make you feel awesome. Sometimes we just go in our bedroom and lock the door. We watch a movie, or talk or play games, but the kids know it’s date night and we aren’t opening that door for anything!
If your husband travels away from home and it’s not feasible to have a date night once a week, don’t give up! Use this chance to have a date via social media. Text him, ask him questions, have good discussions or send him some spicy pictures (he won’t mind).
There are so many ways to connect with our spouses today, and our teenagers know how to use them so why shouldn’t we?!
5. A SWAY A DAY KEEPS ANGER AWAY! SWAY WITH YOUR HUSBAND
Everyday. Not everyone can dance, but EVERYONE can sway. Swaying is standing up and moving from side to side without moving your feet. Make a promise to sway with your husband every night, just for the length of one song. If you guys are crazy angry at each other just hold each others pinkies and sway them to the music. It has worked MIRACLES in my marriage! (I learned swaying from the Royalty And Romance seminar that I took with Kirk Duncan which was soooo awesome)
6. LET GO OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS QUICKLY
PRACTICE LET-GO TECHNIQUES and use them anytime you are feeling angry, stressed out or mad. A let go technique is any technique that you use to dissolve or let go of negative emotions. We all have negative emotions, and if they are not managed properly than we get sick, physically as well as mentally. Everyone has different let go techniques. Here are a few:
Write things out that are bothering you and Burn them
Use essential oils
All of these things are great things to do, but when you purposefully use them to help you manage your negative emotions they can literally work miracles in your life! So take walking for example. Rather than just going for a walk, go for a walk with the intention of letting go of your ‘yuck’. Go out somewhere that nobody can hear and yell your gross stuff out, then on the way back from your walk, allow yourself to say everything that you are grateful for. You will be AMAZED at the results!
There are countless letting go techniques that can be used to manage your negative emotions, don’t be shy, USE THEM, AND LET GO OF YOUR JUNK! Your kids and husband will be grateful and your own body will be grateful. I’d love it if you wanted to share YOUR favorite let-go techniques with us 🙂
7. READ SCRIPTURES
Everyday, even if it’s just a few verses. I went so many years without reading my scriptures consistently and since the I’ve started again I’ve been blown away by how much peace we have at home. I spend way less time on social media and way MORE time with God. I love it!
I’d love to know what you thought of my 7 tips for Being a Calm Mom & Rock-Star Wife!
What is hardest for you about being a mom or wife? Give me your best tips and hang in there, it gets easier 🙂
May I share a story with you? About a year ago we got tired of living in Alberta. We decided to take our kids for a short adventure to a small 3rd world country, located on a little island off the coast of Australia.
I was excited to escape all the snaps and texts and tweets of our modern society, and spend a little time with our family. Turns out that it was the best decision we ever made and you can read all about it here: www.heybeckyboo.com.
Our four month trip quickly turned into a one year trip as we experienced paradise in a raw and real way with our family. As we wandered about enjoying the adventures I received a text one day from the owner of Showhome Furniture saying; “Hey, we want to donate some money- please use it to help people” I was ecstatic! There was an abundance of truly extraordinary people that I could help with this donation. I want to tell you about just one.
I sat down on our couch looking out over the swimming pool and towards the glistening ocean- the sunset was shades of pink and purple that would take your breath away. But it wasn’t the sunset I was thinking about.
There was a young man whose face I couldn’t get out of my head. One of my daughters had befriended him earlier in the year and I felt strongly like I should invite him over for dinner that night. I logged onto FB and sent him a quick message.
I was surprised a couple minutes later, when he replied that he was on the other side of the island, in a tiny village, staying with grandparents, and wouldn’t be able to make it.
I asked him to tell my about his grandma and grandpa. He explained that they were old and dying. They lived in a tiny tin shack. The grandpa couldn’t walk and was mostly blind and the grandma took care of them both, but they had recently come on hard times.
When I asked what that meant, he said that it meant they didn’t have any food to eat and were starving.My heart broke just hearing the matter of fact way that he explained this to me. I asked him what they needed most, and he said ‘pretty much anything you can think of that an old person would need, they need, but especially some food and soap.’
I gathered my kids together and told them about the money that we had recently received as an unsolicited donation from Showhome Furniture Calgary, and then told them about the old couple I had just learned about.
My kids immediately asked if we could use some of the money to bring them food.Of course I agreed, and we said a little prayer together, asking God to help us know what to buy that would most greatly alleviate their burdens.A few minutes later, we jumped in the truck and drove to the biggest grocery store on the island.
We started with buying them some rice and beans and breakfast crackers. Then we added some soap, and shampoo. Knowing how bad the pests can get we put in some rat traps and mosquito coils. Then we added some wash cloths and towels, toothbrushes, toothpaste, some bandaids and antibiotic ointment, some medicine for headaches and fevers. We thought they might be cold and put in blankets and some matches. We wondered if they needed garbage bags and a scrub brush. Laundry clips and a laundry line and the list went on. Every time one of the kids suggested something everyone else said ‘oh yes, they will need that for sure’.
Before long we had two full carts, and we really felt like there wasn’t anything else that they would need. We paid for everything, packed it all nicely into some containers and started our journey down the bumpy island roads.
We first stopped by and picked up the young man we had invited for dinner. His eyes were wide with wonder as he saw the bags and boxes of food piled into the back of the truck but he didn’t ask any questions or say anything. I hoped that he wouldn’t be hurt or offended and prayed that he would see that we were truly just trying to be kind. He guided us across the island until nearly an hour later, at the end of a little road, and far away we found their house.
His aunty came out of the house first and our friend said something to her in their native tongue. She immediately smiled, looking shy. Then the young man jumped out of the back of the truck, and ducked inside the smallest and most humble patchwork of rusty tin, that was the home to his grandparents.
He gently led his grandma out and with his arm in hers, said softly, but within earshot ‘grandma, my friends asked if they could bring you a small bag of rice and I had no idea that they were going to do this.”Her arms were so tiny and frail that I thought she might blow away with the next puff of wind, but it was her eyes that stuck with me most. She looked so surprised as she glanced down at the offering of food and supplies, and then burst out into the kind of smile you never forget. Her eyes bright with hope, and love, and gratitude, began to weep with tears.
She hugged me and held me as tightly as her weakened body was able whispering ‘thank you, thank you’.
We only stayed a few minutes but I knew then, that when she died it would not be from hunger.
Several weeks passed and I was busy with all our adventuring, not thinking too much on the experience we had had with this lovely grandma. But on one particularly slow day, we called up our friend and asked him if he wanted to come swimming in a waterfall with us that was near the Village ofTeoma where his grandparents lived.
He was very excited and after driving forever in the back of the pickup truck with the rest of the kids, knocked on the glass of the window.We pulled over and asked him what he wanted. He said that he would like to bring his sister, and if we just stopped at his grandparents house we would find her there. We pulled back onto that bumpy road and bounced up and down until we found the same little house we had visited over a month earlier. We were there for maybe 10 seconds when out of the house, as fast as she could manage on her weathered legs came his grandma. She was undressed except a thin piece of fabric wrapped around her tiny body, but she was clutching something to her chest.
Knocking on the window of the truck , she beckoned me to get out. I was in my swimsuit as I was prepared for the waterfall we would visit, but still I climbed out, hoping she wouldn’t mind my immodesty.
She wrapped her arms around me, and covered me in kisses, and then gave me a brightly coloured, red flowered, island dress. She told me that she sewed it herself and had just been waiting for me to come back so that she could give it to me.Her beautiful smile and sparkling eyes burst with joy as I pulled the dress over my swimsuit and took a picture with her. I know what a sacrifice it must have been for her to buy the precious piece of calico that would become this dress.
I have no idea how many days and weeks she had been waiting, holding onto that dress, hoping for the day we might stop by, but I was so glad that that day we decided to go there.
From the bottom of my heart I wanted to thank Showhome Furniture for the quiet and kind service that they gave this family and so many others through their donation. You will probably never know the real impact that a little money has had in such a poor country. Thank you and may God bless you for your generosity!
Sparkling stars shimmered in the light, and tinsel garland hung from everything. It would be weeks before we’d be able to clean up all the glitter that was like a magical blanket spread all over the house. Glitter is the kind of magic that Eric hates.
We had spent all week getting ready for our New Years party. Something inside of me just wanted to spoil everyone that was coming with the most amazing party they had ever seen. We were so excited to celebrate with our friends, that all the time, all the money and all the hard work didn’t even bother us because we just kept telling each other how excited and grateful everyone would be.
Whisking, and mixing, the girls and I had created a feast to be proud of! The Passionfruit cheesecake was glazed to perfection as it sat covered in the fridge.
We had cut fresh limes which we used to decorate the lime cheesecake and then drizzled it with a light fresh lime glaze. The cherries and whip cream were overflowing from their black forest cake holders which surrounded them and the lemon mouse bars were sinfully delicious.
On top of all that was meatballs, spanakopitas, pinwheels, crackers, cheese olives and too many other things to even name. Probably my favourite treat was the ombre coloured jello made up of 4 kinds of tropical flavours and layered perfectly in the plastic champagne glasses I found hiding in the back corner of a Chinese shop earlier in the week.
We had a wishing tree, gifts for everyone, and hundreds of balloons, a picture wall and so many fun games we probably wouldn’t even be able to play them all. I was so excited. I had high expectations for the evening.
When the time for the party finally arrived Teenagers, Young adults and adults all filled our home to bursting. I had invited 30 people and more than 40 showed up. The tables were piled so high with food I was certain that we would never be able to eat it all.
The party began and even though we all barely fit inside the house it was the perfect group for some of the big games I had planned. After about an hour of games, Eric and I did a short devotional together and gave everyone their gifs. The gifts were books of scriptures that I invited them to write in to use as a sort of journal for the upcoming year. We had searched all over town for the books and had finally found someone willing to sell us all that they had just for the activity.
I invited everyone to eat and then was just getting ready to initiate the 2nd round of games when suddenly, and completely unexpectedly 22 of my 30 guests stood up and told me that they had to leave. I thought maybe it was a joke but I was wrong.
Everyone had other parties that they wanted to attend.
I looked at my basket of unopened prizes and my long list of games that I was so excited to play. I couldn’t help but notice the house which was a total disaster and the piles and piles of empty plates and tables of food. I was shocked that the food had been eaten so quickly.
The 22 people who were going were the best friends I had in Vanuatu. Each one was very special to me, and this party was my gift to them, were they really all just going to leave me like this?
Suddenly a story came to my head, and brought more clarity meaning than ever before:
And Jesus answered and spake unto them again by parables, and said,
2 The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son,
3 And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come.
4 Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage.
5 But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise:
6 And the remnant took his servants, and entreated them spitefully, and slew them.
7 But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.
8 Then saith he to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were bidden were not worthy.
9 Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the marriage.
10 So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wedding was furnished with guests.
11 And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:
12 And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.
13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
14 For many are called, but few are chosen.
I wanted to run into my room and cry.Cry in anger and frustration and disappointment. I wanted to shake everyone and tell them that it wasn’t okay to just leave like this. I wanted to tell the 8 guests that were staying to leave and go home because I was just going to go to bed and hide under my covers. The truth was, I barely knew most of the 8 guests that were staying. They were all people who had been invited at the last minute or by someone else and I really wasn’t close with any of them. I’m sure they would have understood if I told them that the party was ending.
I felt a voice whisper softly to my heart but I didn’t want to listen to it. I didn’t want to listen because I was so sad. But the voice came again and softly reminded me: “Rebecca, look around you- you have your family and 8 beautiful, good people who could use your love and your friendship. Don’t give up because of choices other people are making, make your own choices and enjoy your night just as you planned.” I knew it was the voice of God trying to reason with me.
I was bitter, and I didn’t want to be reasoned with, but He was right (as always). And so I decided to keep going. I played every game and sang every song, and gave out every prize and enjoyed every minute of our celebrations. In fact we ended up having so much fun that we didn’t even realise it when midnight came and went. and before you knew it it was 3:00am and I was sending everyone to bed.
Eric was exhausted, but he kissed me as he said that it was the best party we’ve ever had and thank you so much for throwing it.
That’s my lesson for tonight. Just be willing to let it go. Let go of all the things you can’t control, all the things that didn’t turn out the way you anticipated and just enjoy life as it is.I am going to slay 2018!